I have yet to understand the whole “blow up” lawn ornament fad. Who is sitting in their living room looking out at their giant blow up snow globe and thinking, “That looks great.” The average lifespan of a blown up snow ornament is roughly 22 hours. They usually deflate, or tend to tilt to one particular side looking even shittier than they originally did. I’m blaming Sam’s Club for this trend. Sam’s club has a mission statement that essentially says, “We are dedicated to serving the laziest men and women in America who don’t have the lung capacity or the energy to make multiple trips to the grocery store. We take pride in out 32 packs of Tabasco sauce and 44 packs of raisins.” Sam’s would encourage the men and women of the Christmas season to opt for a lawn decoration that is the epitome of laziness. Plug your deflated lawn ornament into an air blower and voila, Merry Christmas. They just look bad. You could honestly put an inner tube in your lawn and it would have the same effect. Same goes for the light up nativity scenes. Ladies and gentlemen the baby Jesus is not some “trinket.” He gave light to the world and he should not be diminished to a plastic light up doll. If you want to have a light up Joseph, by all means go ahead, he wasn’t that important, but to disrespect the baby Jesus, that’s crossing the line. To have the baby Jesus sitting in front of a ranch style house next to a blow up ornament is sacrilegious. The baby Jesus might as well be sucking on a candy cane while wearing Uggs.
