Dear Flight Attendants,
Hey there. Me again. Just wanted to send you some Christmas cheer and my apologies for not paying attention to your safety presentation on my Thanksgiving Flight home. I should know how to properly put on a face mask, and in the event that the plane were to crash over a body of water (unlikely, but I'll play along), I should be aware that my seat cushion could save my life (bull shit). I also would like to apologize for un-buckling my seat belt as the plane was making it's way to the gate. You are correct, something terrible could happen after we have landed. The plane could tip over? Or catch on fire? Or it could run into the airport? I would also like to apologize for when I asked if this was the newest edition of SkyMall Magazine. Yes, it was a jackass question. I am also deeply sorry for running up to the cockpit and banging on the door while screaming, "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!" I had completely forgotten that whole 9/11 incident. It was also inappropriate for me to put my complimentary drink in the overhead compartment. It was an open drink and I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea. Oh, and I completely forgot that I had a knife taped to my inner thigh. That was out of line. I should have never tossed my neck pillow as if it was a frisbee and it was completely out of line for me to give that baby next to me that Airbourne pill. And It was uncalled for when I called that individual wearing a turban Osama. You're right, not everyone with a turban is named Osama. I had no idea his name was Mark. He certainly did not look like a Mark.
Happy Holidays,
Love Katie O
