Depend-able

The other day I was sitting in my apartment craving something sweet. Instead of taking advantage of the flour, sugar and eggs that I had, I opted to hit up Walgreens to purchase cookie dough as a result of pure laziness. I have discovered that while waiting in line to check out, I judge people based on their purchases. I was eyeing the purchases of the gentlemen in front of me; aquafresh toothpaste, dawn dishsoap and oh my god, Depends adult diapers? I immediately sized him up and estimated his age to be roughly 60. I suddenly felt awkward that I was behind this man who was clearly having some difficulty with his plumbing when I thought, "Oh my god. There are probably thousands of people, just like this man, walking around in Dpends diapers!" I was shocked. Have you ever been down the Depends aisle? As if your self esteem wasn't already lowered by your need for adult diapers, Walgreens has conveniently placed every other shitty item imaginable in that same aisle. So as you shamefully walk towards the Depends boxes, you find yourself passing the shitty Walgreens socks and 80's make-up caboodles. I suddenly felt his pain. How terribly embarresing to have to purchase this item. He turned around and looked at me as if to say, "This green Depends box is your destiny." Our ages were suddenly revealed as he purchased Depends and I stood there with a box of cookie dough. Another shopper probably assumed that I was his grandaughter and that grandpa was going to need those Depends after he ate the cookie dough.