Sometimes I like to keep updated on what's happening in my hometown of Omaha. I went on over to Omaha.com today to get a taste of the daily news when I came across this, and this is directly quoted,
"Omaha buzzes about the ballpark. Accusations ping louder than a ball hit with an aluminum bat."
What kind of shit 4th grade journalism is that? Did someone on staff just finish a boxcar children book? Was Highlights magazine the spring board for this ingenious sentence? I'm just trying to imagine the brainstorming for this sentence....
"accusations swirl like a twist cone about to melt"
"accusations fizzle as if the carbonation has escaped the coke bottle"
"accusations shrivel like an overcooked hot dog waiting to be bought by a fan"
Come on Omaha....I know we're not the New York Times, or the Chicago Tribune....but in all honestly, let's put aside our metaphors. Let's pack up our silliness and get to the news.
